A rant about the past week

There is so much to say, yet I don't really know how to say it all. Earlier this week I visited the Maudsley Hospital (which I will later post about). It went much better than I thought it would, and the staff there decided that it would be best if I went on medication for a period of time to help with my anxiety and depression, although they did not seem concerned with my bulimia, they were very helpful and said that if I had an 'niggling questions' I could easily talk to a specialist about it. I am also going to be talking to a dietdican which I am thrilled with...I really am willing to do anything to get to a comfortable healthy weight.

Taking my tablets posed as a serious problem on what would have been day one, (Wednesday) because the pharmacist gave me the wrong tablets!!! I had a fear this may happen after reading 'Anorexic mummy' blog on how she was given the wrong medication. Luckily my mother read the leaflet with the tablets that came with it, and realised that they were the wrong tablets after reading several symptoms that did not confer with the side affects of the tablets I was prescribed. It even said that the tablets can cause acute liver failure, if they are missused! After screaming and shouting at the pharmacist, my mum was finally given the correct tablets, and I began using them on the Thursday. I was unfortunately looking at a university open day on Thursday, and so I felt sick and nauseous the whole day. Friday was a lot better, with little to no side effects, although I have to admit that I did have terrible nightmares that night about my sister (whose 13th birthday was also yesterday!!) becoming psychotic. It was a very disturbing nightmare, and I really hope it doesn't occur again.

Today is Saturday and I am feeling slightly down. However I account this to the fact that I am two weeks behind on all of my homework, and I could go out tonight but I don't know what to wear, and I just feel fat fat fat today. This makes me feel guilty, because I do want to go out and I know I would have fun, however I  am not suppose to drink alcohol with this medication, and that was a warning point heavily emphasised on the leaflet that came with the tablets, and also I have no idea what to wear. I know people say you don't need alcohol to have a good time, but from a 17 years olds perspective, I have to disagree.

I thought writing down my problems would make me feel more at ease but I still feel tense and not happy. I think the best option is to just get cracking with my homework, however much I hate it!!!

In other news, I have also been predicted my grades for uni. For Photography I have been predicted a B (I got a B last time), for Psychology I have been predicted an A (I got an A last time as well), and for Philosophy and Ethics I have been predicted a B (I received a B in philosophy and a D in Ethics, last year which rounded to an overall C, but I am retaking ethics to boost it up a couple of grades, so that my overall mark at the end of the year will be a higher).So I have been predicted A,B,B. However to get into the universities I have been looking at, I need at least AAB, which means I am going to have to persuade either philosophy and ethics or photography to boost my predicted grade up to an A.
In the end though I would like to get three A's or an A* in psychology and two A's. I am willing to work hard for it, even if its not showing just yet!!!